


misery business

by neraides



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Blood, Curses, Dark Magic, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff and Smut, Fluff with Angst, Levi is a softie, Levi is a witch, M/M, Slow Burn, Smut, Strangers to Lovers, Trauma, Witch Hunts, Witches, erwin is a closeted bisexual, graphic descriptions of death, hexes, oblivious Erwin, prep erwin, really slow burn, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-07-28 19:53:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16248707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neraides/pseuds/neraides
Summary: “You shouldn’t get closer.” Levi pulled away, his left hand draping over the spot on his neck that Erwin had been playing with for the past minute. The imprint of warmth that was left suddenly became cold, it made Levi shiver pitifully.“I want to, though.” Erwin said simply. “I know you do too, Levi.”“I hurt people. All I do is bring doom, sadness and misery onto people. If you choose to do this the same thing will happen to you and I don’t want that to happen. I can’t let that happen to you because I—”“You what?” Erwin stepped closer, his voice straining a bit as he inquired further. He knew he was going to say it. He needed him to say it. “Say you love me, Levi. Just this once.”“I will live on and forget you.”Erwin’s face drew blank for a second. “You won't.”“I will.” Levi said with more vigour. “If my fourth life comes and I don't forget I won't be able to live with myself for the other five I would have left.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> the first eruri im writing in a very long time!!! decided to clash my favorite aus together: college and witches!
> 
> let me know if you like this bcuz i have more on the way!
> 
> i also made a playlist for this! click [here](https://open.spotify.com/user/11154840313/playlist/5bwojA7OwLVdOaL1GFom3X?si=uqueV5X7T4ChhdUUnjOUTw) to listen to it while u read to set the mood!  
> these are the songs that gave me inspiration for it and i'll add more as i go on with the story

College life is hard as a motherfucker. Assignments, dates, exams, lectures, credits and being part of a fraternity were not something easily manageable, but Erwin Smith seemed to excel in them all without too much effort. He studied, had good grades, he turned in stuff in time, kept a pretty good social life for his first and second year and was captain of the uni’s American football team. Not bad for a rich boy with a couple of working brain cells to keep him going. Speaking of brain cells, Erwin was there taking a classic major, surprisingly, instead of a sports one. He had the jock looks, lots of people have mistaken him and thought he had some sort of sports scholarship but Erwin had an undying passion for the classics like Greek mythology, the language of Latin and literature for some reason that he didn’t quite know.

He’s part of the kappa kappa gamma fraternity, and he’d say it’s a generally good house with a matching reputation to uphold. Most brothers and pledges that were accepted have good grades and usually either don’t get in trouble or  _ don’t get caught  _ being in trouble. Their parties are pretty fucking cool and still extremely respectful, never once getting noise complaints or warnings from the uni’s staff. Most sororities considered kappa kappa gamma a  _ safer _ place than any other houses on campus and often found themselves co-hosting parties and pledging events. Things were looking good for them in terms of social status, until now. 

Most of the time, Erwin liked to think that he was a good person, and really, most people would testify that he was. It was strikingly surprising when he found himself in a situation like this. His knuckles stung from being raw and he was waiting outside the dean’s office as if he was back in high school and got caught running in the main hall for some stupid reason. Except he wasn’t here for a stupid reason, he was here because a fucker was asking for a punch and he received it. The chair he was sitting on was annoying him, the sunlight coming from the windows was annoying him, the way his khakis were ruined was annoying him. All he wanted to do right now was  _ implode into a ball of anger and tell everyone to fuck off.  _

Erwin cannot wrap his head around the fact that people even  _ like  _ the stupid members of alpha pi. They’re not  _ cool.  _ They’re not  _ funny.  _ Their parties are  _ shit.  _ He’s convinced people are just utterly scared of them and try to be friendly to minimize the damage that could be done if they got on their bad side, ever. Erwin was not one of those people. He couldn’t bring himself to give a  _ shit _ about stupid alpha pi, but, when they decided to pick on Hange for no reason, that had been the last drop in the bucket of piled up anger. It was Tuesday. This week was going horribly wrong.

The door swings open and Erwin comes in. “I'm rather surprised to see you here, Erwin Smith.” The dean pushed his thin glasses up his nose, giving them a momentary comical shine that almost stole away a small snicker from the tall blonde standing in front of the now closed door. However, to maybe tone down the punishment he knew he was about to get, or maybe because it would be way out of character, he didn’t laugh in the dean’s face just this once. “Why don’t you properly come in so that we can  _ talk”  _ he emphasized, pressing on the word talk figuratively but with a strong intent, “about what happened during your first free period today?”

He swiftly pulled a chair and sat in front of the man scolding him, holding his head high as he slurred, “In my defence,  _ with all the respect _ , Nile’s face is extremely punchable. Plus, he made fun of Hange over their identity in front of the whole cafeteria. Do you mean to tell me you condone bullying within your educational environment,  _ sir? _ ” His tone was defiant, definitely bordering on the edge between ‘my-father-will-hear-of-this’ and ‘i-am-not-scared-of-an-adult-built-like-a-fiddlestick’ but remaining calm, collected and composed, much like the t-shirt he was wearing (which might be a little dirty with blood from the fucker’s nose).

“Smith,” his tone was venom. “to be quite fair with you and spread all my cards on the table, I could not care less about what happened back there. Hange can come answer and report what happened by herse—”

“Themselves, sir Reiss.” Erwin corrected with an assertive look and through grit teeth. If looks could kill the dean would be dead and gone. Looks like  _ another _ fucker wanted to leave the school without teeth. The blonde wondered where he hid his extra denture; maybe he could snatch it on the way out.

“By  _ themselves.  _ As for you, be glad you’re not going to be expelled for sending Nile to the hospital. You will be punished accordingly to the situation’s conditions.” There was a long drag of silence before the principal spoke up again with a look that resembled mockery. “You will be cleaning the library every day for the next three weeks.” Erwin stared dumbfounded, opening his mouth to protest only to be interrupted again by the old man in front of him. “I don’t want to hear it, Smith. Keep it to yourself. You start today after lectures, the supplies are in the janitor’s closet. I want every shelf cleaned, the books organized alphabetically, by author- Hell, even  _ colour.  _ Get to work and let it be known that I don’t take violent offences lightly, so it better not happen again.”

With a swift motion and not as much as a single word, Erwin stood up, exited the dean’s room, and took the first turn to the left, heading down to the hall where his friends’ were waiting for bad news.  _ This day is going horribly,  _ he thought, utterly defeated. However, he stood with pride. Maybe he got punished, but at least he had done it for a good motive.

As soon as he appeared in front of the opened doors to the hall, two sets of footsteps came running to him incredibly quickly. He didn’t even have to look up to see who it was. 

Hange and Moblit. 

“Erwin!” Hange cried out and reached to hug him, backpack sliding off their shoulders as they did so. Erwin welcomed it and embraced them as well with a little less strength. “God, I’m so sorry. This is all my fault and now you’re paying the price… I fucking hate them so much, Erwin. Look what they did… Now no one will leave you alone, this is so bad!” They rambled on and on without sign of stopping before Erwin shook his head and squeezed them in the hug a bit further, shushing them effectively. “What did they do to you back there?!” 

The taller sighed, trying to untangle Hange’s merciless arms from around his chest. “ _ Hange,  _ you’re going to get yourself dirty. My shirt is ruined,” he puffed out with a bitter tone. This was his favourite one. “The dean’s a  _ dick.  _ The secretary kept giving me dirty looks and now I want to go  _ home _ . That’s it.” Hange raised a brow, knowing fully well that something had happened and that he was just not telling the truth. Comically, Erwin sighed in defeat and finally told them what he had been assigned to. “I’m going to be cleaning the library every day for the next three weeks.”

The penny had dropped. “Holy shit. Erwin.” Hange’s face twisted, staring at him with worry and a pinch of anger. “I did appreciate seeing you knock Nile's nose off his face, but you got yourself all up in that trouble for me. What the hell were you even thinking?!” 

Erwin’s eyebrows furrowed, “I thought that he was being a douche that needed to be  _ punched  _ into place.” Moblit chuckled in the background at Erwin’s words. “That’s what I was thinking the whole time.”

“Erwin was defending you, Hange.” Moblit helped Erwin peel off their bickering friend from the tallest of the bunch, holding them in almost a chokehold afterwards. “I guess it really couldn’t be helped. The food lady stepped in before we could. If you need help we can cover for you, those three weeks are about the most unbelievable and unfair bullshit I’ve ever heard of.”   
“We even had a party planned today, Erwin… Just ditch this shit and come, please? C’mon—”

Erwin interrupted them before this complicity could develop further. “I can’t do that, Hange. He’ll expel me if I even  _ think  _ about ditching this shit job.”

“I guess it can’t be helped...” Moblit said with a sad tone as well.

Needless to say that for the rest of the day he received a couple of side-eyes and not so pleasing words from almost everyone on campus. Today was just not going great and on top of it all, he was not going to attend one of the kappa kappa gamma parties because of this. It’s quite funny, really. The way Erwin sighs and accepts the impending doom that’s about to dawn on him is by far the funniest shit in the whole universe. He’s glad Hange can’t see it.  
  


He visibly shivered, nose wrinkling in distaste. The janitor’s closet smelled like  _ shit _ , which was indeed a bit ironic, considering the number of cleaning products that were stored here.  _ A dead rat, maybe? _ He found himself asking but quickly annihilating the thought as he would rather not think about what sort of dead animals could be sharing this tiny room with him right now. It was none of his business to work with  _ that.  _ As fast or perhaps faster than a lightning bolt, the blonde gathered all the supplies he needed: a broom, a duster, some trusty Windex and lots of disposable rags and got the  _ fuck  _ out of there, heading to the library in long loud strides that echoed into the emptiness of the university ground. It was awfully creepy — and unsettling. 

His heart only stopped hammering inside his chest once he reached the double glass doors that opened to the library, taking a deep breath and thinking it over before entering.  _ Did he really have to do all this?  _ Unfortunately, there was no way he could escape it _.  _ There were a lot of things Erwin could afford; however, being expelled was not one of them. Reaching into his pocket, he held a small silver key he was given to open these doors. He leaned in and as soon as he pressed his palm flat against the glass it creaked open, nearly sending him into a screaming frenzy and draining all colour from his face. Maybe the library lady left it unlocked? She was rather old and forgetful when it didn’t come to telling people to be quiet. Tall shelves stood importantly and threatening above and ahead of him, scoring heights as tall as twice or maybe thrice his size. Every possible corner was filled to the brim and possibly overflowing with thick, thin and medium-sized books — some ripped and torn, holding onto dear life with two pieces of transparent tape. Erwin barely stopped his legs from giving out right then and there.

He was fucked. 

Reluctantly, Erwin walked into the library and closed the doors behind him, getting to work immediately with a heavy mind and alert senses. 

In the blink of an eye and cough after, his apple watch read 3am and his eyes were nearly closing on their own as he wiped the dust away from what seemed to be the nth book of the night. Maybe it was. He only had gotten a single entire shelf done — polished, dusted and organized alphabetically. This was  _ torture _ . 

He sat down on one of the tables in the aisle he was currently in, mind almost wandering off to sleep right then and there before his phone buzzed in his back pocket.  _ 'i’m sorry :( pls don’t stress urself too much i wish i could help i'll beat up the dean next time !!!’ _ , the text from Hange read before another came in.  _ 'u’re not missing much either! mike is drunk as balls and teasing the pledges..eren is holding him and armin’s grabbing his hair as he pukes :/ ymir and historia from rho are having their way in the couch and im sitting here w mikasa’  _ He got a photo as evidence right after, Hange and Mikasa (from rho, along with Sasha, Historia, Ymir and Annie) not looking too amused in the slightest. Their cheeks were lightly dusted pink, probably from alcohol. _ Excessive information, as  _ usual. Erwin smiled to himself and laughed. Hange was adorable. However, his happiness did not last as long as he hoped it would. 

The tall blonde nearly  _ squeaked (for the second time that night) _ as a sudden thud echoed through the library, reaching his ears and breaking the deafening silence he had gotten used to. Erwin really didn’t think of himself as a scaredy cat, but  _ fuck, who wouldn't be petrified after hearing noises like that? _ He paled for a few moments and then collected himself once more, standing up to check out what had made such a sound. He was not to be that one white guy in movies that stays behind and dies on his own (technically he was still on his own as he was checking, but the heroic thought and adrenaline were still there).  _ It was probably just a book falling,  _ he repeated in his head as he walked towards where the noise seemed to have come from.  _ It was just a book falling. A book being affected by gravity and the uneven floor. The worst case scenario is that maybe an animal knocked something over. No big deal... _

He came to the ‘Antiquities’ isle, spying every corner before his eyes focused on something. It had been a book that had fallen indeed, to his relief. What didn’t play in his favour, was the fact that a fucking  _ hand _ peeked from the corridor and moved as if to pick said book up. A small, pale and thin hand tried to reach the book before Erwin gathered the guts to inquire, “Who’s there?” He said it loudly, voice booming. The hand in question stopped mid-motion as he spoke with more assertiveness now. “The library’s closed, you’re not supposed to be here.

“Tch.” The voice was rather deep but not too much, it seemed to come from a guy. A guy who had a strikingly pretty and well finished black polish setting atop his long nails, Erwin noticed. “You’re so fucking loud.”  _ Well _ . “What are  _ you _ doing here?” The hand disappeared, but not before showing off a big chunky ring with a pentacle on it. 

Erwin flushed, the answer catching him off guard. Maybe it did seem a bit hypocritical to think he had the authority to make someone leave when he was just here to clean. “Well, I’m on cleaning duty…” 

“Oh,” The mysterious voice still spoke, a creaking noise and a small rattle resounding after, showing that the person had leaned onto one of the shelves blocking Erwin’s view. “You’re the guy that punched Nile square in the face.”

“How do you know that?”

“Everyone does.” How ominous. “Why else would you be here if not for cleaning, Smith?

Erwin’s eyebrows furrowed, a tingling feeling of anger or maybe confusion filled him as he heard his name coming from the mysterious guy. “Who even are you?”

“How impatient. Although I can understand, I’m also not very patient myself so let’s get this over with.” 

All too quickly, there was a black shadow moving over to him, pinning Erwin to one of the bookshelves with a surprising amount of force and willpower. Whatever it was, he didn't have time to see it. It held him there like a predator holds its prey just before digging in. Small fists held his collar in a tight hold. Erwin's eyes opened only to stare down and finally getting a good look down at the person’s face. It was indeed a guy (a very handsome one, actually) with raven black hair and cold silver eyes that were pretty and crystalline enough to seem blue outlined. The person lined his eyes with heavy eyeliner and, yet, somehow, it did not make him look like a clown. There was a piercing on the bridge of his nose and he was dressed in all black from head to toe except for a couple of pieces of jewellery that hung on his neck, fingers and attached to his ears and face.

A goth kid, sneaking into the closed library and pinning him to a wall at 3am. What was next? A dagger?   
  
Maybe he spoke too soon.

  
“You never saw me here, got it blondie?” Erwin hadn’t noticed the dagger when the stranger had pinned him, at first, until its sharp edge grazed against his throat. “I was never here.” The guy’s intensity rung through his warning. “You were alone all along as you cleaned the fuck out of this place. Which you've done a terrible fucking job at.”  _ Was he watching all this time? _ “You're gonna get your shit, and you’re leaving .” His tone was threatening for someone of his stature, which almost knocked Erwin out from laughter. A small snicker escaped from his lips without his permission.    
  
The goth’s face twisted. “Fuck are you laughing at?”   
  
Erwin raised his hands in surrender. He really didn’t want to be get stabbed by this stranger on the first day of duty, and, besides, he was curious. This guy had a weird vibe and somehow, for some reason, Erwin wanted to know more.    
  
“Look,” He spoke to the shorter man, keeping his hands raised. “I have no idea what’s happening right now and I would rather not be here. I won’t tell anybody that you were here as long as you tell me what you were doing.” The smaller fists unclenched slowly but still didn’t let go. “Jesus fuck, dude, you didn’t have to nearly rip my shirt.”   
  
“It’s dirty. I should’ve.” The other scoffed as he finally let go fully, stepping away to give his back to Erwin. “I’m not that easy, blondie. Why should I show you whatever the fuck I was doing? It’s not happening.”   
  
“Well,” he started off, “I really never come here but even so, I find it very weird that someone would be here at the devil’s hour? Especially considering all of your attire which i-is nice by the way—I like the rings and all that…” The goth let out something akin to a chuckle at his stammer, his shoulders going up and down. “Listen,” Erwin continued. “This is fucking weird and it’s late. There are parties going on right now and you’re here at the library?”   
  
“The devil’s hour.” The smaller resonated, turning back to him with an arched brow. The dim light didn’t let Erwin take a good look at his face, which was unfortunate.    
  
“Yeah. It’s over 3 in the morning… What could you be doing at a boring library at this hour when there’s much more interesting stuff to be doing? It must be worth it, right? You’re not a hitman Nile got for me, are you?”   
  
“You’re funny,” Erwin blushed for a hot second. “But, can you keep a secret?”   
  
“What I’m about to say probably ruins my opportunities of ever finding out what you were doing, but, do you expect other people to keep your secrets if you can’t keep them yourself?”   
  
The silence dragged for a while, the stranger’s arms crossed in front of him as he raised an eyebrow at Erwin. It was kind of awkward. Erwin’s eyes tried to shift elsewhere as he wondered if maybe he had messed up badly, fear flooded his body for a while. The guy still had a dagger in his hands and Erwin’s neck was still scratched and bleeding the tiniest drops of blood.   
  
“I always thought all blondes were stupid,” the other deadpanned, breaking the silence in a cold way.  _ How cruel. But insanely hot at the same time . . . wait, what? _ “It turns out maybe you escape the equation. Do you really have no idea what I’m doing, blondie?”   
  
“Not one bit, I’m afraid.”    
  
He didn’t realize the double meaning behind his words until they were out of his mouth, lingering in the air. The shorter stepped closer and softly grazed his palm over the place he had placed the dagger before. The coldness of his hands soothed the sting in it for a while.   
  
“Meet me here tomorrow.”    
  
In a flash, just like when he had appeared, the goth ran to the row of shelves where he had come from, leaving Erwin dumbfounded and behind. Erwin tried running after him, but as soon as he turned the first corner, the raven was gone.   
He went back to the frat house a couple minutes later, after crossing half the campus, stumbling into it with a tired look and ignoring the fact that most of the place was trashed and Hange was cuddling Mikasa and Sasha on the couch. His eyes glossed over the fact that Mike was leaning against some corner and that Hange’s door was creaked open, Ymir and Historia laying in their bed inside. He made a beeline straight to his room and let himself hit the cushions.   
He didn’t fall asleep though.

  
  


“You look a mess.” Hange and Erwin were hanging out on the main hall before their first morning lecture. Calculus for Hange, and Latin for him. They bit into an apple and looked slightly groggy, swaying a bit with tiredness and hungover from last night. They had “woken” up early to help the pledges clean the party leftovers up before lectures and activities would start. Erwin was fucking tired of cleaning. 

“I know, Hange. Not to be mean but you’re fucking drooling. You look like you’re about to burst out of your skin with hungover.”   
“Touché.” They wiped over their mouth quickly with their long sleeves. “What happened yesterday at the library? How many bug bites do you have?” They pressed further, leaning in his face and rubbing their not so clean palms over Erwin’s eyes to try and wake him up. They even bought him a  _ big  _ cup of coffee on the way to school, but nothing seemed to be rattling up the restless boy. “You look like you haven’t gotten a blink of sleep. Don’t tell me you spent the whole night cleaning…”

“I didn’t…” Erwin took a dig at his coffee, nearly gulping the entire thing up in a bitter swallow. Maybe this would revive him in a couple of minutes and he’d actually be grateful for all the caffeine in his system. “I just couldn’t sleep after I got to the frat—” Erwin’s lips slipped shut as a sudden chilling silence ripped through the hall, not a single soul speaking or daring to make a noise. He looked confused for a while until he spotted the reason why everything had gone quiet. 

Passing through the main hall, the goth from yesterday and two other people (Erwin assumed they were his friends) walked with the intimidating force of a thunderstorm, shaking everything in their sight. The two others were  _ very  _ different compared to the raven  — one looked about a year younger and the other was wearing their American football jumper. The tall blonde barely let his jaw and coffee fall to the ground at what he saw once he focused on the main event. Whom he was interested in was dressed even  _ better _ than yesterday. 

His legs were half covered by a tight leather skirt (that didn’t leave a lot to the imagination) and the rest was enveloped in black and neat fishnets; his hair fell over his forehead and was parted in the middle like yesterday. The raven’s top was covered in a sleeveless and ribbed black crop top that showed off his belly button which had a tiny black jewel to complement it and his skin looked silky smooth, pale and well taken care of like shiny porcelain. Several necklaces, jewellery and rings adorned him, just like the small winged liner he was rocking. To top everything off, and to end Erwin for real, he was using combat boots.

_ Erwin, control the closeted bisexual, fucking christ.  _ He thought as they passed by,  _ you don’t know this guy. _

“Hey!” A loud voice called out as the group passed by, making them come to a halt and turn around. Erwin paled. “I like your skirt! I’m Hange!”

It was silent for a while, Erwin deviated his eyes for a moment before the other spoke up. “Hey, Hange. Thanks.” A pair of silver eyes landed on him — Erwin finally noticed that they also had a bit of blue in them as he suspected. They were the prettiest thing he had ever seen. “Blondie," Before turning away, his cold hand waved a bit, showing off a small leather piece that closed itself around his palm and went all the way to his wrist. Oh,  _ fuck _ . After walking down a bit more, they finally took the first turn to the cafeteria. Erwin hit his back against the wall and sighed heavily. Maybe he hit his head too, but it was fine.

“He was the reason why you didn’t sleep.”

“Yeah.” He whispered in defeat.

“And you are going to tell me every single little thing about it.”

“Yeah.”

  
  


Hange and Erwin were sharing lunch together like they do every Tuesday. Since Erwin had a couple more food passes than them, so he was usually the one who paid for both of their meals. It wasn't a big thing, really. Erwin's father was the one who paid for this, and a couple of extra meals certainly wouldn't make a difference.

“So he just showed up and then disappeared?” Hange asked between bites of their pasta and gulps of water. “What a weird guy. He seems cool and dressed well, though! And you totally have a crush on him. Or at least a thing for the whole goth look…” 

Erwin choked on his sandwich, coughing a bit of it out. “Hange!” They are  _ too _ forward sometimes.

“What? Did you not see the scene you did when they passed through the hall today? Embrace the gay, for once.” They kept munching away, Erwin hid his face in his hands. It wasn’t a  _ thing yet. _ Not even Hange was supposed to know — and they didn’t. He was just paranoid about them finding out. “Plus he’s like, super hot. I’m a lesbian but like, holy shit. A total catch.” Their head turned suddenly before leaning to whisper in, “look. He’s right there!” 

Erwin looked over at across the cafeteria, his eyes landing on a certain someone that he could recognize from miles away. He wouldn’t call it a  _ crush,  _ because it was simply not one. He just thinks that guy is really cool and happens to dress really  _ really _ well. He seems like something mysterious and someone who he’d like to get to know. Nothing more, nothing less. “I don’t have a crush on him. He’s just intimidating and it kinda takes my breath away.”

“Okay, straightie.” That one kinda stung. “Do you think anyone here knows his name?” Hange asked as if they had read his mind. “Should I ask ar—” Their speech suddenly came to a halt, silence fell over them. Erwin felt his stomach drop mid-bite.  _ Not again. _

“Hey, runt.” 

It was Nile’s voice. 

Erwin’s eyes widened and he suddenly turned around, only to be hit with a wave of cold water, his arms not doing much of a shield. He spit out his food.

“Hey!” Hange yelled, standing up quickly and grabbing a fork as Erwin wiped over his eyes with his palms. A  _ fork.  _ “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!”

“Getting my payback.” Nile deadpanned. The people behind him snickering as if he had come up with the most original of remarks. “Fuckin’ weirdos always up in my business and alpha pi’s, get over yourselves.”

“We’re just fucking  _ eating—” _

Erwin dried his face with his shirt as for his palms did not work, standing up between Hange and Nile while telling them to step back. “Shut the fuck up before I knock out your dentures.” 

Once again, the whole room stared at them in pure silence, listening in and taking note of everything that went on.

Nile’s eyes ended up on Hange, scanning them up and down. Erwin’s eyes filled with rage. “Your friend’s somehow even weirder than you, piece of shit.” His mouth turned into an ugly smirk as he stared. “They’re preparing your dentures right now as well! You’re gonna fucking pay for that.”

Hange grit their teeth and made a pissed off sort of noise from behind Erwin’s back, blindly tossing the fork they were holding in a show of pure anger. It hit Nile’s thigh. “You sorry excuse of a fucking human being!”

“I’m gonna fucking beat your ass—” Erwin held up his fists, cracking his neck in a swift motion. 

The last drop fell. Nile lurched forward and grabbed at Erwin’s shirt, who kneed him in the gut but ended up taking a punch and as a result fell over the table.

Mike had shown up just like yesterday, but late. He was trying to separate and protect Hange from the rest of the crowd. Erwin stood up again and clawed at Nile’s face as they both wrestled around the floor of the cafeteria relentlessly. It was a struggle between wanting to beat the  _ fuck _ out of Nile, tearing away from the people trying to hold him back and stopping everything at once and leave him on the floor, but as soon as he let himself be distracted a kick came flying to his very own gut this time. It knocked the wind out of him and sent him back to hit his head on the floor, breathless for a couple of seconds.

There was a loud ring in his ears just then, almost deafening as he laid there untouched. Everything seemed to go silent for a while, but he could still see Hange yelling and kicking their feet in the air in a form of retaliation. Mike and Moblit (who had joined for some reason) just wouldn’t let go. Had he perforated an eardrum? 

“ Huic opprimere obdormiscere.”

Erwin heard it quietly in amidst the chaos (to his relief at least he heard something), followed by the thud of a body hitting the ground. His eyes moved towards the noise, finding Nile on the floor again. 

He had passed out? How had that even happened? 

He had no idea; all that he knew was that his opponent was on the floor and that his jaw and chest ached immensely. Someone came rushing to his side, helping him out so he could stand.

Hange was all up in his face trying to wake him up but his eyes felt so heavy that they were about to close. He turned his face to the side, his blurry vision landing on that guy’s table for no particular reason. His index fingers were positioned in the form of an upside down cross, and he was mumbling those same words into Erwin’s head, his cold eyes fixated on him. He was sure it was nothing louder than a whisper, but he heard it loud and clear in his mind. 

_ Huic opprimere obdormiscere. _ Everything turned black. 

 

“Erwin, wake up! Come on,” Hange shook his shoulders a bit too violently, Erwin snapped his eyes open not long after a bit more rattling. “Oh, thank fuck…” Mike exhaled a long breath as he held an ice pack to his own forehead while Hange almost dropped to their knees.

“What…” His head hurt immensely and his ears were still not working very well. He felt like he was underwater with an immense amount of pressure sitting on top of him. Over the place where he was punched, there was a small band-aid (he figured Hange had put it there while he was knocked out) and his chest hurt, probably bruised beyond belief. 

“Nile got in trouble this time for steering up shit! You both passed out very suddenly... I don’t give a fuck about him but I thought you were going to  _ die! _ ” They dramatized. “My  _ best  _ friend, dying… Right then and there just because of some transphobic asshole, Erwin! That’s not a fucking way to go! Especially you...”

He winced at the volume of their voice, before yet again chuckling a bit and wrapping his arms around them. They squeezed him back over the bruise on his chest — he winced. “I’m fine, sorry. I. I don’t know what happened either. All I know is I have a headache… How long was I knocked out?”

“Huh… Like 10 minutes? I’m gonna get you some water. Wait right here.”

“That was fucking weird, dude,” Mike said quietly, typing something away on his phone. Erwin’s phone buzzed in his pocket as he hit send — it was the frat group chat. “You nearly dropped like a fly after that punch… Is Nile really  _ that _ strong? He looks like a fucking pussy.”

“It was a punch  _ and  _ a kick. Besides, he passed out before me so who really wins?”

“Point taken.” 

Hange went away for a couple of moments and Erwin was left alone with his thoughts after Mike went to team up with the frat. What had happened just minutes ago? What was that guy doing? He wasn’t too sure what was going on anymore. Time couldn’t pass by faster enough, classes were a drag for the rest of the day and breaks were hell. He couldn’t go anywhere without hearing people comment of snicker right under his nose. Erwin didn’t even want to think over the fact that his position as leader of the American football team might be in danger because of that fucking prick, so he didn’t dwell in it for long.

He went to practice on that day, feeling tired and basically dragging his feet around until there. As he was putting his gear on he realized that he had to change his mood for the better. He was the captain of the team, for fuck sake. He couldn’t let people feel down because of him, and certainly, he didn’t want to make things worse by dragging the team down. 

After going to the bathroom to splash some water on his face, his chest still hurt but he felt almost revived so he went out to the field to meet up with his team. 

He was a bit late. To no surprise, he still got a couple of stares and awkward responses or greetings, but he had to push through it. He had to get his reputation back. 

“Coach—”

“Smith.” Coach Pixis said with narrowed eyes. “You’re late.”

“Yes, coach. Really sorry about that, I went to the infirmary and—”

“I don’t quite care about that. 10 laps around the field, you have 10 minutes.”

_ This isn't fair.  _ He wanted to say. _ Why did this keep happening to me? _ “Yes, coach.” He said with a faint voice, head down and with a nod before walking towards the edge of the field. There, he tied his shoes better and then took off running around the perimeter. 

Erwin found himself getting lost in the things around him and staring at the scenery. Autumn was starting to roll in smoothly, which made the sky a bit grey but still relatively sunny to be enjoyable and the wind was blowing quite strongly, making leaves dance in it swiftly. Most of the people who used to come to practices were not here, he noticed, usually, the seats would be more full but today he could only see two figures sitting in the middle sections. He couldn’t see who they were clearly, though. Somehow, somewhere inside of him, he wished they didn’t recognize him, but their eyes kept following him around the field. He felt uncomfortable.

He sighed and kept running. His thoughts seemed to clear up a bit but there were still questions hanging in his mind from a couple of hours back.

The wind kept blowing away the leaves; the sky was still grey. In the blink of an eye practice was over (he barely got to participate in it) and soon enough, it was already time for cleaning duty to start.

He did the usual routine whilst waiting for three in the morning to strike the clock and even setting a small alarm for it. Another day, another cleaned shelf. The progress wasn’t much, but he was sure that if he kept this rhythm up, the library would be clean by the end of the second month — maybe the principal would cut him some slack off he did stuff right. He took today for mopping the floor and cleaning more shelves. He even put on some music to distract himself — but turns out that having music echo through an empty library at ass o’clock is scarier than it might seem.

At three on the dot, he heard the main doors opening, his attention immediately driven to them as he watched once again, the guy walking in. The lightning was better this time so he managed to get a good look at his face and attire (which was the same as when he saw him that morning). However, he was wearing a long black coat probably because it was the type of weather to wear summer clothing and then regret it later.

“Hey.” He ripped the silence in two. Erwin caught himself staring and stopped, putting down his mop.

“Hi.” He strained his voice to make it as stable as possible. “I see you’re right on time…”

“Don’t like to keep people waiting.” He said simply, stepping closer and eyeing Erwin up and down. His eyes narrowed, focusing on the cheek where the band-aid stood. “Got into another mess?”

“You saw… Yeah—” 

“Who thought that placing a band-aid over this shit would do any good?” The raven’s eyes rolled a bit, a small sigh leaving his lips. His hands reached Erwin’s cheekbone (the blonde decided to register the fact that he had to stand on the tip of his toes for that) and lifted the curative a bit. “Tch. Use disinfectant. It will sting like a motherfucker, but at least you’re not going to get a shitty infection on it.”  _ Such kind words. _ He stepped back again, looking around the place before starting to walk somewhere. Erwin followed eagerly after putting the band-aid back on.

“Sure thing.” The taller said quickly. “So…”

“So?”

“You know I didn’t pick up the fight, right…”

“Yeah, you didn’t. That doesn’t make you and me less involved, though.”

_ What now? _

“You?”

The goth nodded but said nothing. Erwin didn’t question it further because soon they came to a halt in front of a particular shelf. It was filled with old books and it smelled like mould, some pages were ripped and slipping out of the covers — pieces bitten off them by whatever bug was residing inside. “This is where I was yesterday. Because of  _ you _ interrupting me, I couldn’t get the book I wanted. Do me a favour and get it for me?”

Erwin’s cheeks turned pink,  _ god he was so glad for the dim lighting here. _ “Yeah, of course… Which one is it?”

“Third to the right on the top shelf.” 

Erwin nodded and looked upwards.  _ He definitely wouldn’t be able to reach that even with a chair. _ He thought to himself mischievously.

After retrieving a small chair, Erwin was able to fetch what the other wanted (he made a mental note to ask for his name later). His eyes couldn't help but glance at it, not wanting to intrude in his privacy or book choice but the opportunity to know a bit more about this mysterious guy taking advantage of him.  _ Grimoire for the Green Witch _ , the cover read. Erwin looked away and got down from the chair, handing the book to him. “Here you go.”

“How kind.” The goth took the old book and gave him a look that to Erwin resembled murder. “You even took some time to see what it was about.”

“Uh—”

“Not worth denying it. It still hasn’t clicked, has it?” One of his thin eyebrows lifted and for a couple of moments, Erwin couldn’t tell if he was mocking him or not.

“Seems like you really enjoy that sort of stuff.” 

“I guess you could say that.” What Erwin assumed was the other’s phone vibrated repeatedly in his pocket just then, him taking a couple seconds to check it. He sighed at it and then rolled his eyes. “Well, thanks for the shitty book. This is my queue to leave.” 

“Wait!” It sounded cliché, like a cheesy teen movie or even Cinderella when Erwin said this suddenly, walking after him quickly like a pup. “You haven’t told me your name yet.” Definitely Cinderella.

“My name…” He stopped on his tracks, seeming to ponder for a little bit before he said, “You really have no idea who I am, do you?”

“Not really, no—”

“Levi.” The man in front of him said quickly, stepping over Erwin’s words and making him go silent. “Stick to Levi.”

He left, Erwin stood in his place in a static motion. His mind wandered to beautiful and unthinkable places as he pondered over the word. Levi.  _ Levi.  _ It sounded pretty; it flowed nicely on his tongue… Felt like a piece of soft velvet and on top of it all was  _ unique.  _ Levi. 

Erwin finished the rest of his work and stomped his way towards the frat house again. He passed by the uni police, a couple of people holding hands beneath some stupid tree, and if this was another normal day he’d actually enjoy those things. But it isn’t. When he got to the house, a couple brothers, pledges and their favourite rho sisters were sitting in the living room. Everyone and everything went silent when he arrived — everyone except Hange. Where were they?

“Erwin!” Eren, one of the pledges, greeted him.

“Hey.” He replied, looking around the room. He saw Eren, Jean and Armin sitting on the sofa closely to each other, Moblit and Mike took the other one while Annie, Mikasa, Sasha, Ymir and Historia were sitting on the rug below. Historia was between Ymir's legs. Connie and Marco came in after him. “Thought you guys would be at a party tonight?” 

“Not happening any time soon,” Mike answered quickly.

“Why not?” 

“There are rumours spreading,  _ Erwin.  _ About shit that shouldn’t have fucking happened in the first place. Alpha pi won’t stop running their stupid mouths around.” He sighed, everyone in the room moved as if they had straightened. “The coach already knows about it and the dean too, even the teachers. If this gets worse we’re  _ fucked.” _

After a long moment of silence, he spoke up again. “Hange moved out because of the fight. They're now in the regular dorms but are still part of our activities.”

_ How fucking stupid was this? _

  
  


It was Wednesday morning. His apartment was a pleasant dark, sunshine sitting above his face annoyingly but successfully waking him up better than any alarm clock could. Levi’s eyes slowly fluttered open, sleepiness trying to hold them down. It was too fucking early.

He groaned for good measure just before he got up and dressed for the day ahead. A leather skirt and ribbed crop top would do. 

_ Too early. _ He thought again as he sat on his bed, now ready to leave and typing away something to Isabel on his phone. Something caught his eye just then. His trusty incense and sage were sitting on top of his nightstand, practically glaring at him to use them. He had time, didn’t he?

His mind felt heavy. He lit up the sage (the regular one, not white. Fuck that culture appropriation shit) and tried to relax for a few moments, letting the smoke and scent settle in his lungs and clear his head.

It’s very stupid. Levi feels stupid in every possible way for something he didn’t even do. Let’s call it second-hand stupidity, similar to second-hand embarrassment, you didn’t do anything embarrassing — you’re just embarrassed for others. Farlan is  _ really fucking stupid and Levi feels stupid for him.  _ He’s a member of  _ stupid _ alpha pi, and he’s about just as annoying as them ever since he joined that fucking thing. Just yesterday they had picked a fight with a member of kappa kappa gamma for no reason other than for the sake of it. The poor person hadn’t even done anything other than score the highest grade during exam season last year. 

Gladly, Levi wasn’t part of anything like that. He was  _ not  _ a fucking frat and would never be one. 

They wouldn’t accept him because of his reputation anyway.

After a couple of minutes, Levi felt slightly less annoyed and his senses weren’t as heightened so he left his dorm (which he didn’t have a roommate to share with) and met up with Isabel and Farlan to get breakfast like he does every morning. Isabel (the poor brat that he loves so much — the devil itself with pigtails) spent a few minutes whistling at him for the outfit, to which he just smacked her upside the head softly. He could never get mad at this girl ever. Farlan, on the other hand, as much as Levi would like to pretend wasn’t true, was the  _ straightest _ guy and the most annoying bitch ever so he didn’t look too amused. 

Levi was rocking this leather skirt. Fuck him. 

They made their way to the main building, entering through the main doors swiftly.

He’s used to silence when he enters a room. He’s used to the deafening suspension, the tension when he walks anywhere and the gossiping. It’s not a surprise that there are rumours about him being a witch, and well, they are  _ not  _ wrong in the slightest.

His style has nothing to do with his practices unless you count jewellery, but people (expectedly) are too quick to judge. 

Levi’s doings are not nice. Being a dark grey witch means he messes with things most people wouldn’t dare even think about but it’s not like he’s an evil person. Only sometimes. He doesn’t practice harm to other people in his favour — he does it for other people. That’s how he manages to stay unharmed. He’s only a channel of energy and messenger, whatever happens to the person who requested the job is not his business. Things don’t always go right, and he has a few scars here and there on his body to prove such statement, but that’s what he likes so much about this.

_ The thrill of teasing evil things and passing by without a scratch keeps him going.  _

And it fucking pays off. Most of the time.

Back in reality, the deafening silence was still as palpable as himself, his friend Isabel and Farlan made way down the main hall before entering the place where a couple of groups and lockers were. His eyes quickly scanned the crowd and landed dead on a certain somebody. 

_ Erwin Smith.  _ The guy that interrupted him yesterday night. Prep. Plays American football with Farlan and is the team’s captain. Pretty and with impeccable attendance and grades, surprisingly. He’s tall, broad and sent a guy to the hospital for messing with his friend, Hange Zöe and luckily didn't send Farlan as well. He saw it happen, in all honesty, the fucker deserved to have his teeth kicked in.

His eyes averted from him once Erwin started to notice what was going on, and his face fell blank like before as he stared ahead and began to walk towards the cafeteria. Be cool.

_“Be cool? Why the fuck do you wanna be cool?_ _He probably knows what you are and is disgusted shitless.”_ Levi liked to think he had a demon in his head that planted these shit thoughts randomly. He’d get rid of it one day.

Just then, there was a loud outburst. “Hey! I like your skirt! I’m Hange!” This voice snapped him out of his thoughts, fortunately before they could develop any further. He stopped in his tracks to look for the source of noise, finding it to be Erwin’s friend. Did they not see Farlan walking with him? Erwin was standing right there next to them as well, looking at him with a comical face and mouth shaped in an “o”. He knew this outfit would’ve worked.

“Hey, Hange.” He said with a small nod, pulling the nicest voice he could, giving them a small nod. He heard Farlan grunt in annoyance and quite honestly wanted to slap him for that. His eyes landed on Erwin, then, a “blondie,” leaving his lips as he waved his small hand at him as if to say ‘ _ let’s meet again soon’. _

Finally, they walked away. Levi exhaled a breath he didn’t know he had been holding once he left Erwin’s sight, chuckling to himself as he heard a small thud in the wall. His instinct roared at him; he knew exactly what it was. 

“Who’s the  _ blondie _ ?” Isabel asked eagerly as they kept walking towards the lecture hall.

“Nobody.”

“The way you sighed definitely didn’t make it seem like he was nobody.” Farlan interrupted with a tone that Levi sure didn’t like.

“Do you really not recall seeing him punch your  _ friend’s _ nose in or are you gonna keep pretending?” He snapped bitterly at Farlan who averted his gaze and went to his lecture, separated from Isabel’s and his. “Putain de connard.” He mumbled to himself.

A nice voice came to save him and his mood not shortly after, though. “Levi-bro, I didn't know you had a strength kink?” The smaller taunted with a smirk. Levi’s eyes narrowed.

“I will beat your fucking ass—”

The lecture was surprisingly not so boring this time. Classics (go figure) wasn’t so bad, it only required a monstrous amount of time and dedication, which he had. If he paid attention to his lectures and did his studying hours every day he could do it easily, and that’s  _ just _ what was happening. He was an ace at this shit. 

After being dismissed, Levi gathered his stuff and started to make his way towards the exit before something tugged at his shoulder. He turned backwards rapidly — it was Isabel. She looked down at the ground and still held onto Levi’s shoulder.

“Come to football practice.” She asked in a small and quick voice; the voice she used when she wanted something and was too shy to ask. She knew just how to get what she wanted, the little pest.

“With Farlan?” He raised his thin brow. “Izzy I have to study—”

“Not. Not for Farlan, he asked me to go watch… but I don’t want to be all alone like a loser.  _ Please _ , Levi-bro…” 

“I don’t know Izzy, you know he’s kinda...” He said, taking her hand and pulling her out on the hall where people passed by.

“He’s a jerk.” She puffed her cheeks out. “I know it, but I can’t just leave him behind like that! He’s being influenced and you know it, Levi… Please come with me.” She pressed further, looking straight into his eyes while holding his hands this time. People passed by right next to them, staring and then making their way. Isabel pleaded, her big ocean green eyes making Levi  _ feel bad _ for not agreeing without even blinking first.

Levi sighed and averted his eyes, pinching his nose and toying with the metal piercing on the bridge of it. “I’ll go.” Isabel’s entire face lit up like a Christmas tree. “But, if he stares at me or if I even  _ dream _ about smelling  _ the sweat _ from the team, I’m going home.”

“Deal!”

  
  


Lunchtime neared quickly as Levi and Isabel made their way into the public canteen and got their food before sitting down on their usual place nears the windows of the room. People began to pile up quickly, wolfing down meals in the so well known rush of lectures coming up.

Levi was a bit too busy eating and trapped in his thoughts, and maybe if Isabel hadn't warned him he wouldn't have noticed that Erwin Smith and Hange Zöe had walked into the cafeteria with alpha pi following not long after. He narrowed his eyes at Farlan who just shrugged, seemingly unbothered and knowing of what was about to happen. 

Somehow, Levi did too.   
  
  


He shouldn't have agreed to this.  _ He knew it was a bad idea to come to watch this stupid practice and look at stupid Farlan for an hour. _

It wasn’t exactly the time to be wearing the clothes he was using right now. It was  _ hot  _ but also  _ windy,  _ and his clothes, of course, didn’t make much of job at keeping him pleasantly — or decently — warm. He wanted to go back to his dorm and drown in his books. Again, go figure. The smell of grass, sweat and humidity clogged up his nostrils and for a moment it was all he could feel besides the wind until Isabel shuffled closer to him and murmured a soft “you look cold”. Levi wanted to tell her that  _ no shit, he felt cold _ but he just nodded and leaned into her shoulder instead.

Peering down at the field, players started to gather around in small groups. They tossed the ball around several times and some threw themselves at each other in big piles. Levi didn’t get the point of this game.

He looked away, gaze stopping on Isabel's arms. Her leather jacket sleeves were rolled up slightly, revealing a couple of scratches on her forearm that were red and seemed to be healing. Levi furrowed his brows, mind racing with answers to where those scratches could've come from. “What are those?” he asked pointedly, face falling even more serious than it regularly is. 

“Wha…” Isabel seemed lost for a moment before she looked at the same thing Levi had been eyeing, pulling her sleeves down rapidly. “Nothing.”

“Izzy.” His gaze was sharp, demanding an answer to his worried questions. 

“I didn't do them, okay?” She looked embarrassed, biting the inside of her cheek and averting her gaze. “I got them randomly the other day…”

“And you didn't tell me?” 

“I didn't want to worry you!” They were being too loud, calling some attention to the seats nearby. A couple heads turned in their direction.

Levi sighed loudly, grabbing her by the arm and pulling the jacket off swiftly. She didn't retaliate as expected. The goth examined further. Three long scratches went all the way from her wrist to her shoulder, circling around her arm as if it were some sort of sleeve tattoo that hurt and stung when Levi pressed the pad of his fingers against it. He pulled at her t-shirt to see her back, relieved to have found it clean of any sort of cut. “These are new.” He stated so matter-of-factly. “When was the last time you cleaned your dorm, Isabel?”

“I…” He looked expectant, Isabel bit the inside of her cheeks again. “Two months? I don't have the time, Levi…” 

He grunted. “There's  _ always _ time. This is why we want to prevent this  _ shit _ from happening, Izzy.” She looked away as he scolded her. “Two months of doing spells without cleaning what's left of it? I thought we had been very clear that we'd be more careful about protecting ourselves when it comes to these things. This could end up badly one day, don't you remember my m—” His eyes widened, speech halting as he swallowed the words he was about to say. “Kuchel taught us differently. We need to do better.”

It seemed to strike a nerve; her green eyes turned into a glossier teal. “You didn't have to bring her up…” Her voice was strained, nose wrinkled. It was heartbreaking to see her like this, but what else could Levi do? He couldn't let these big mistakes slip. 

“We're leaving.” Levi stood up suddenly.

“But the game—”

“ _ Fuck _ the game and Farlan. We're going to your dorm and taking care of this right now.” Isabel stood as well and Levi helped her out with her jacket, sighing again. Slowly he rubbed her back as he led the way outside. “I'm sorry for mentioning her.” 

“Yeah, you are.”

“You know I am. I got carried away.” He stated, gripping her hands and walking quicker. “I'm sorry that I reminded you of something we were both trying to forget, but I won't let you end up like her. I won’t.” 

They reached the staircase that led to the outside of the field and left without many more words, now walking on the quickest path that led to Isabel's dorm. The brown and orange autumn leaves came down as the wind pushed them lazily, Izzy leaned into Levi's shoulder further and let herself cry as the memories of Kuchel settled in her mind, leaving her hazed and her legs wobbly. They stopped on their tracks near a tree and stood there for a while, Levi holding her like she was going to slip away from his reach at any moment like sand between his fingertips. The witch’s throat began to tighten, his grey eyes stinging.

Witches were much like cats, in a sense.

More precisely, they had the opportunity to come to earth exactly nine times and remember everything that they learned in each of them — accumulating knowledge and wisdom to spread to their apprentices and future generations to come. They would live their lives to the fullest, trying to discover ways of prolonging their time without a known limit to the ways of escaping death's cold grip and timing. Kuchel — Levi's own mother and Isabel's mentor for her first life — had been one of them. 

She had spent her first three lives between the tenth and sixteenth centuries researching for a way to prolong each of her remaining ones, to no avail. In the seventeenth century, inevitably, came the witch trials and executions — most witches were seemingly eradicated by the popular folk across the world (if only humans knew that they could outlive them nine times). Kuchel was, again, also one of them. The two lives that she spent in that century were cut very short, each not lasting more than twenty to thirty to years. 

Ever since he was a child in his first life (around the 19th century), Levi was used to the concept of death — Kuchel often told him stories of how she had been killed in her past lives, describing in detail and the motives behind her ways and attitude sometimes. Some had even been stupid, like that one time she accidentally fell in a well in her second life. In her first one, Kuchel told him, she didn't quite know what she was doing until she found someone with experience who helped her up and off her feet. As expected, back then, being a witch was not as “easy” as it would be today. There were more ways of hiding it and running away from people who tried to do something bad to you. Therefore, the deaths that she told stories about were either very dumb or very brutal.

Hanged, fallen from a high place, sacrificed, trampled, burned, drowned, tortured, exiled and murdered, Kuchel had experienced it all.

Levi himself had experienced death, but only two times. The first one, trampled by the rushing and uncontrollable weights of panicked and enormous crowds rushing over him like he was some sort of carpet, unnoticeable. It had happened in Paris, one day. He had been foolish enough to panic an entire crowd with his sorcery; and the second one, drowned by the townspeople that found out about his and his mother's identity. 

Weirdly, everything would tell you that Levi wasn't afraid of death or dying, but it was exactly the opposite.  _ “Lives mustn't be wasted. It is a great gift to be able to experience the world and all it has to give time and time again, even if all we remember from the past are recipes, family and blood.” _ , was his mom's motto. 

Levi was on his third life. Izzy was on her second. His mom was long gone.

It had happened in a flash right in front of their eyes. The cabin they were living in was located in a small village near ice cold mountains. People were brave, fierce, fighters that weren't afraid to protect their land — even if his mom, Isabel and him never did anything wrong to them.  _ Some people in this world get rocks thrown at them just for existing,  _ and his mother was no exception. She was murdered brutally with an axe; her insides painting the walls, floors, ceiling and her apprentices’ horrified faces. Not long after both of them were thrown into the crispy cold river, heavy rocks tied to their feet holding them down as they struggled.

They had found each other again, this time without Kuchel's guidance and motherly warmth. It was hard not to remember and mourn when all you know from your past are the people you love, books and destruction. It is hard to not wish to have never been born with such memories and weight on your back — and most of the time that's what Levi thinks. It is a battle between loving and hating what you do. 

All that Levi knew was that he wouldn't let Isabel —  _ his Isabel  _ — waste her time like his mom had.

He pet her hair, cleaning up a small bit of a leaf that had fallen on her head. Her crying halted for a few seconds.

“I'm sorry,” Levi whispered. “I know it hurts, Izzy. I know it does... Without her, it's hard…” his voice was slow, as comforting as he could make it and almost as quiet as the sound of the leaves coming down from the trees. “but we can make it work. Alright? We can make her proud.”

After a few more reassuring words and touches later, Isabel had calmed down and they were walking again to her dorm, holding hands this time. The journey was quicker as they bickered and made a plan of what to do once they arrived, and they did in just under three minutes. As they made their way up the staircase, passing by unfamiliar faces and voices, one of them stood out from the crowd. Hange. They were wearing a flannel and skinny jeans, hair sort of dishevelled.

“Levi!”  _ How loud.  _ “What are you doing here?” They were holding a small cardboard box with a black sharpie on it saying ‘ _ hange's stuff’. _ As their eyes fell on Isabel, their interest and glow seemed to have spiked. “Hey! I haven't met you yet!”,  _ Technically they hadn't met Levi either.  _ “I'm Hange. The dean requested I'd move here because of, uh… a conflict.”

Isabel glanced expectantly at Levi who just nudged her in the ribs. “I'm Isabel. You can call me Izzy… Where are you moving into?” 

“Uh…” They shifted the weight of the box on their hands, looking at something scribbled on their palm that was runny, sweaty and smudged. Levi cringed. “Room… 57… no, 670!”

Levi's thin eyebrows arched in question and surprise. “What? That's  _ my  _ room.”

“Oh!” Their eyes lit up with excitement. “I must be your roommate then! You're not sharing it with anyone, right?” 

“I'm not—”

“That's so cool!” Levi should be annoyed, but somehow he isn't. It does get lonely without someone to share his room with and Hange seemed to be nice... Loud, but decent enough to be bearable. He wondered what Farlan would think.

“You're still in the fraternity you were in, are you not?” 

Hange nodded a bit, falling a bit more serious than Levi has ever seen them. “I am, but the recent stuff with alpha pi earned me the exile.”

Isabel laughed a bit. “Alpha pi are jerks. Including Farlan.”

“I was just about to ask, you're usually three right?” 

“He's in football practice,” Levi answered quickly, wanting to get rid of the subject as soon as possible. “He thinks he's the shit but he won't do anything.”

Hange tilted their head to the side a bit comically. “Well, that relieves me. Alright. It was nice to meet you, Isabel… I better get back to unpacking…”

“I'll be there soon enough,” Levi stated as they began to walk in separate directions, parting. “Don't mess with my stuff, four eyes.”

Taking the first turn left and walking down the hall, they made it into Isabel's room quickly. The energy piled up in it was noticeable as soon as they stepped in. It was barely suffocating, eerie and almost impossible to turn a blind eye to. The whole dorm was pestered in this energy; he wasn't surprised Isabel's roommate had moved out. He pulled a disgusted face. “I'll help you, but you need to be the one getting rid of it, Izzy.” He sat down on the couch. 

Isabel paced around the living room nervously. 

 

It took about two hours but they had made it without much hurting or trouble (maybe it cost Levi a bit of back pain and a scratch here and there, but it had been solved). Isabel was absolutely exhausted so she went to bed while Levi quietly made his way out and into his dorm, only to find Hange also sitting on his couch with a hot cup of tea in their hands. 

“You made it back. Hey.”

“Hey.” Levi looked around carelessly, spotting a couple of unopened boxes laying around; he figured Hange didn’t have it in themselves to unpack. “Haven’t finished up yet, four eyes?”

“That nickname is awfully mean and takes me back to preschool.” They pouted, pushing their glasses up their nose, steam from the hot cup clouding and clinging to them. “And no… I’m busted. By the way, I didn’t touch your stuff like you asked… Except if you count almost entering your room by accident. I didn’t know it was yours so I walked right out when I saw it was occupied.”

Levi was surprised at the respect Hange displayed — they seemed to be rather nosey, so this was a pleasant moment that he could enjoy. He seemed genuinely moved, his room wasn’t the most discrete and certainly the things in it were even less. “Thanks for that.” He bent down to untie his boots, leaving them near his room’s door. “There’s one more thing I wanted to ask first, shit head.”

“Your nicknames get even worse… yeah?”

“What are your pronouns?”

People say time flies when you’re meeting someone new, and for once, it did. Hange and Levi had been talking for hours on end by now, getting to know each other and their habits quite well. Levi found out that they were a nonbinary lesbian that was taking engineering, and he told them a couple of things about himself as well. He let them in on the fact that he was an orphan, gay and studying arts while trying to maintain a scholarship and a meal plan.

“I love your style…” Hange admitted after asking to borrow a spiked choker from him. “Are you reflecting something in it?  _ Big  _ emo stuff like listening to MCR or like just for the black aesthetic? Please tell me you don't say shit like 'I dress in all black just like my soul’...”

“I don't.” Levi said, “but I will now that I know it makes you cringe.”

After about 5 cups of instant ramen and before both of them could notice, it was already past midnight. Levi retreated into his room after saying goodnight to his new roommate, who insisted on staying on the couch for longer.

He just went for a nap.

Quickly it was nearing a quarter to three in the morning and he had to leave to the library. He rose from his desk, taking his special (and homemade) onyx amulet with him and opening the door. He cringed internally at the loud creak it produced as he moved it. Hange was still snoring on the couch, seemingly unbothered by all the noise. Upon arriving at the entrance Levi pondered over taking either his cloak or his coat, choosing the cosier option in the end. It was cold outside.

He had someone to meet. 


	2. Chapter 2

A week had gone by slowly, it was already the end of October and he still had only cleaned about a third of the room. There was still much more to do; so many more books and shelves to clean.

Suddenly being expelled didn't sound too bad.

His hands were tired. His fingers hurt from clinging to cleaning products and if things kept up this way, his body would be permanently scented of windex. “I'm going to bail on this stupid cleaning job,” Erwin said through grit teeth to himself, exhaustingly leaning against one of the shelves he was cleaning. 

The glass doors at the front opened with a small creaking noise. “You're gonna bail, blondie?” Levi's voice pierced the air as he waltzed in the library in black ripped skinny jeans and a crop top. He was wearing a leather jacket as well, a spiked choker around his neck and black sneakers on his feet; in his hands were two books that Erwin recognized from the last time he was here. “Thought you had to follow the dean's orders like a good pup.”

With a little yelp, Erwin jumped in surprise. The windex tumbled to the floor in a comical swish of liquid. “I told you not to scare me like that, Levi…” He put down the broom that he had clenched in his grip. The goth smirked a little when he noticed that the prep was rather flustered by his intrusion. Adorable. “I'm so tired.  _ Fuck  _ the dean.”

Levi let out something that resembled a breathless chuckle. “Didn't know you were into old men,” His tone was playful, mocking. “or men in general.”

Again. 

His heart clenched but no evidence of it displayed on his features. Hiding  _ this _ was becoming easier than it should. “You know I didn't mean it like that. You embarrass me time and time again…” The goth was now closer, Erwin looked down so he could stare at his eyes properly. He wasn't using makeup today.  _ A shame… He looks beautiful in it…  _ What? “This job has been nothing but useless. Who  _ cares _ if the library is clean or not? Besides… You haven't told me what you've been doing here yet, so what's the point?”

Levi's look morphed a bit, settling in a mix of what Erwin read as confused and amused at the same time. “I didn't plan on telling you.” He turned his back to Erwin and walked to the main desk, settling the books he had taken a week ago there and leaving a small note on top that read  _ 'delivered. —L.’  _ “Not anytime soon.”

“Why?”

“You wouldn't understand.”

The blond furrowed his thick eyebrows at what the other said. “There's a lot I don't understand.” The tension made him internally cringe, so he rushed to change the subject of the conversation. “What I  _ do _ understand is that I want to bail…” 

His face lit up as if a light bulb had turned on atop his head. “There's a Halloween party going on at kappa kappa gamma… If we walk quickly we can still make it and have a couple of drinks.”

“We?” The goth looked surprised, to say the least. “Tu parles français?” 

“You're not coming with me?”

“Come again?” Levi turned to him, arms crossed over his chest as he peered up at the taller.

“Do you want to come with me to the Halloween party at my fraternity?” Erwin asked in a forced friendly tone; not because he didn't want Levi to come along, but he because he didn't want him to think he wanted nothing more than take Levi there and get smashed by cheap alcohol. The usual bro ritual: let me take you out, but no homo.

“I don't like parties.” After that, Levi simply turned to the door, refusing him in under seconds until something grabbed at his wrist. 

Erwin was going to insist as well. “Come on…” He barely pleaded, “You don't have to talk to anyone if you don't want to… Besides, you fit the theme easily. N-Not that it's bad a thing, it just… You know,” The taller stumbled over his words like they were pebbles on the ground. “Please come. Hange will be there as well.”

“I told you I hate the fraternity vibe. I'm not part of it.”

“You don't have to be! I'm taking you as a guest.” 

Levi shuffled his wrist away from the other's grip almost aggressively. Erwin had never touched him like that — or touched him in general. His warmth imprint on the thinner wrist felt uncomfortably cold when Levi pulled away. “It will be fun…”

“Why do you want me to come so badly?”

“Because… You're the only one who actually spends time with me.” Erwin finally admitted, retrieving his hand and letting his arms hang in front of him. His own aggressiveness had gotten him by surprise, so he backed up. “Ever since that stupid fight everyone blames me for the lost reputation of the house and brothers, nobody wants to be around me except Hange, Mike and a couple pledges… Listen, if I go there alone, I will keep being alone until it's over. We can go away early if you want, I'll drop you at the dorm so you don't have to walk alone?”

Levi knew that probably wasn't true. He knew Erwin would probably find another stupid blond to have sex with during the party. The thought made him uncomfortable. 

The silence dragged, the crickets outside made it more fitting. 

“Forget it, I’ll—”

“I'll go,” Levi said pointedly, shoving his hands inside his leather jacket pockets. “But if drunk people barf on me I'm leaving.”

“Deal.”

 

The night sky was clear, the moonlight draped over them from above and painted their bodies in a soft glow as they walked down the streets to Erwin's frat house. They were quiet most of the way through, the only sounds that pierced their ears were the long strides they took and pebbles rolling — Dearly,  Erwin made sure to remember that while he took one step forward, Levi needed to take two. It was the first time they had spent time outside the library together.

As they neared the house, the goth began to walk slower, his pace steadier and a bit more hesitant. Erwin only noticed when he had already fallen a couple of steps behind. 

He stopped and turned to him. “What's wrong? We're almost there.”

“It's Halloween.”  _ Fuck.  _ Levi thought to himself. He hadn't brought his stuff over in case of an emergency. 

“Yeah. It’s already witch season.” Levi's eyes went wide, for a second his mind went as blank as white. His breath hitched. Did he hear what the other had said wrong? He hadn't, right? “No one's hunting for them nearby or anything.” It was all said in a joking tone but it wasn't funny at all. Levi shivered. “I promise there are no witches inside the house, I don't know about the outside though.”  _ Yeah, right.  _ “Come on.”

Leci didn't budge. “Why do you think hunting innocents is funny?”

“What do you mean?” The blond raised one of his thick eyebrows and then knitted them together. “I've never laughed or done any of it.”

As Erwin walked ahead, Levi stayed in his spot as he looked at the back of his head. The urge to throw up and run heightened as the time went by; the thought of being caught making his skin crawl. He knew about all the rumours that ran around, even if he had never confirmed nor denied any of them for his own sake. He had mentalized himself that he’d never be caught, that he didn’t care. 

People only suspected of him being a witch because of the way he dressed. Levi knew that walking into that den considering who he is was a suicidal mission, but somehow, he was foolish enough to believe everything was fine. 

It wasn't. 

They walked in, the vibration of loud borderline metal that was playing racked through Levi's body in a deliriously uncomfortable way, making him do a beeline straight for the drink table. He spotted someone familiar, Hange came by near him to say hi before wandering off close to Moblit with another beer in their hands. Erwin followed shortly after saying a couple of hellos to his friends. 

He leaned in to yell in his ear. Levi could smell his cologne mixed with the scent of cleaning products. “Looks like people are having fun!”  _ Thanks, Captain Obvious. _ “Why don't you try out the drinks? Let’s fucking get  _ hammered! _ ” Erwin's hands moved to grab a can of bud light (a college classic)  and he cracked it open coldly, chugging all of its contents in a single swing. He was used to this, clearly.

Levi could beat that. He could so beat that. 

Both of them downed four other cans and suddenly everything was a bit warmer, a bit fuzzier and more comfortable. The music was still loud as fuck but Levi didn’t seem to find it as annoying as before, it turned into a bearable vibration; the same applied to the heat of bodies on the dance floor. Moving his hips was easier and looser now, Erwin was closer to him and the scent of cleaning products had been replaced with his very own cologne and beer, which was surprisingly a more pleasant combination than the first. They weren’t dancing together, barely half a meter apart; Levi wasn’t even dancing, just swaying to the beat of whatever was playing. 

After exhausting himself for a bit, Levi decided to stand back and look around his surroundings. He downed another can of beer as he spotted Hange and a couple of people he didn't know (who were wearing the fraternity shirts) dancing together in a more reserved corner. People that he didn't know looked happy and were having fun.  _ He  _ was having fun. 

“Hey.” A call came from behind him; a soft voice that sounded like it belonged to a girl stood out amidst the noise. 

When Levi turned around, and then looked downwards (which wasn't usual, he's shorter than the average lot) he spotted blond hair and crystal blue eyes. “Have you seen my girlfriend?” was slurred a bit drunkenly and loudly. It took him by surprise.

Levi shook his head.  _ He hadn’t seen any girlfriend yet.  _ “What's she like?” he found himself asking.

The other seemed already defeated. “Really _ fucking tall and… gay. She has these freckles? They look like stars and her skin is tanned. It's like… you know the definition of butch?”  _ Levi chuckled internally at that. “ _ I lost her…”  _ The smaller whined.

“I haven't seen her, no. What's your name?”

“Historia.”

Nice name. Definitely bisexual. “Well Historia, I'm sure you'll find her soon. How come you lost your tall butch girlfriend in this drunk as balls crowd?” 

“Don't be mean, stranger!” She whined again and hit him in the shoulder. He only chuckled a bit louder this time.

“The name's Levi.” He sipped his beer. “How many drinks have you had, femme?”

“Uh…” She looked down at her hands and pretended or at least tried to count. “Three? I think three…”

“So you're a lightweight. We should really go find your g—”

“There you are! Historia!” A louder and deeper tone rang through the music and a whole new presence was around the both of them. Historia's eyes lit up like stars and a new figure came into his view. Tall, tanned. with freckles and a little buff. Her girlfriend. “I was looking everywhere for you! Marry me when this stupid party is over…” 

When her dark gaze directed itself to Levi, Historia was basically under her arm and clinging to her sideways as if she was hugging a tree. “And you are…?” The vibe she gave off was close to murderous. Levi got the hint clearly.

“Gay.” He swung at his beer.

“Like _gay_ gay?” Her face morphed in a look that was more soft, more amused. “Sick, dude. Thanks for taking care of Historia for me.”

“No problem.” He really hadn't done anything, but he appreciated it. His can was about empty now.

“Nice to see some fellow LGBTs around here. Almost every single one of these preps is a cishet…” Her eyes rolled back into her skull. “Nice choker dude.”

“Thanks.” He started walking towards drink table again and patted Ymir's shoulder on his way there. “I’ll see you around.”

“Gimme your number first?”

A saved number and chugged budlight later, the atmosphere in the room started to change. More people started to lay their eyes on him and even through all the layers of alcohol (which wasn’t a lot, he could handle his alcohol) he could feel them; their piercing gaze made his moves slowly come to a halt. The music was quieter and the room seemed to stop in time as a guy he didn’t know climbed up a couple of steps with a microphone in his hand. Everyone stared at him.

He coughed for good measure. “Y’all are having fun right?!” The crowd cheered a bit drunkenly, a loud roar of ‘ooh’s and ‘aah’s replacing the music. “Well, it’s about to get  _ even _ better! No Halloween party is completed without… a  _ witch hunt.”  _ The crowd gasped; Levi shivered in his spot as the guy with the microphone looked directly into his eyes for precisely half too long. “Tonight, whoever catches the witch and brings them to me gets fifty— no, a  _ hundred _ bucks! Knock yourselves the fuck out!”

The music started again with a loud guitar strum and drums; However, Levi did not move, frozen in spot. No one seemed to be dancing either, as all of their eyes fixated on him with the force of thunder. The entire room except the ever so oblivious Erwin looked at him as if he were prey and they were predators, ready to tear his throat at any given moment. Levi had witnessed theses stares before in the frozen cabin. His mind ran a mile with memories and worries; the can he was holding came rolling on the floor as he backed up slowly and the crowd followed. 

Erwin slowly came back from his senses, looking around with a confused look and then laying his gaze on Levi who looked utterly beyond mortified. “Why’s everyone looking at you?” He asked with a raised eyebrow.

“He’s the party witch!” Someone yelled from the back. “It  _ has  _ to be him!”

“Yeah, he’s that fucking weirdo that's always dressed in black and looks creepy. No wonder they picked him this year!”

“Weirdo.”

“I want my hundred bucks!”

As if they were animals, the crowd began to walk fast and squeeze the goth into a corner. Something kicked in within him. This primal state of survival and trauma made Levi’s legs take off running on their own as he dashed out of the door. Everything in his eyes began to turn into a glowed blur and he certainly didn’t remember clinging onto Erwin’s shirt and pulling him through the double doors at the front with a monstrous amount of strength. He slammed them shut with lightning speed and a loud thud that resonated in his bones; A sharp pain ran through his right arm. 

Raising his fist, the witch nocked on the front of the white doors three times, loudly. “Ferme cette porte jusqu'à l'aube. Personne ne doit passer outre ce sortilège sauf moi!” was chanted with vigour and in a loud voice _ : Close this door until dawn. Nobody must trespass this bind except me. _ The witch couldn’t quite care less if someone heard him now — he just wanted to get the fuck out of there. 

When he turned around to the path that would lead his way home, he saw that the force he’d used pushed Erwin down the small set of stairs that connected to the porch he was standing on. Behind the door, there were loud bangs and shouts as people tried to open it, to no avail. It had worked — for now.

Erwin stared at him dumbfounded. A mix of confusion and borderline horror displayed in his features. Levi read it as disgust.

After descending the steps, the witch stood there, breathing heavily and staring right back at the blond, wordlessly. Loud banging still resonated from the inside of the house and the witch wanted to tear his hair away from stress as people began to outdo his struggles; young and old college students began climbing out of the windows on the second floor and first.

A noise came from below; a voice that he so well began to recognize and look forward to. For some reason, he didn't want to hear it right now. “Levi, what are you—”

The urge to kick him was there, haunting him. “Don't start.” The blond didn’t have time to finish his sentence before the shorter began running for his life again, legs numb and barely trembling from the panic that coursed through his veins. His senses heightened; he could smell the dirt he ran on and feel the wind blowing him back to where he came from. His clouded mind was a weird cocktail of memories, trauma, regret and alcohol.

The line that separated running from the crowd or running from his fear of being caught was blurred; fogged. It felt like a catastrophic mix of both. His lungs burned and throat dried up as he kept running and  _ running  _ towards the hall where his dorm was.

A small area dense in trees stood in his way. He knew this place like the back of his very own hand (he came here at times to perform bigger rituals for his clients) so he made his way in through it, attempting to make his predators confused and lost in the authentic green maze that it was. It all seemed to work out as he entered the hall where his room was, breathless and sweating from every single inch of his body but without seeing a single person after him.

He sat and slid down the wall near the flight of stairs, trying to catch his breath. He heaved heavily.  _ ‘You’re okay. You’re safe.’ _ repeated in his head like an echo, but not with his voice. Kuchel’s. The only safe place beside Isabel that he possessed. If only he had stayed with her today.  _ ‘You’re safe, mon cherry.’  _

But that wasn’t true.

The booming sound of a pair of footsteps going up the stairs triggered his fight or flight mode once again, and so he fled to his dorm. 

“Levi?” 

He halted in his step as he recognized the voice.  _ Erwin.  _ In the midst of not knowing what to do, he forgot to close the door to his dorm once he was in. He stormed into his own room. 

“Levi…” Erwin’s voice called out for him, muffled but getting louder as he neared the main door of his space. “Are you in here? I’m coming in…” The witch slid down the door of his room, holding it in place from the other side steadily as if the lock wasn't secure enough. 

“You seemed so panicked by that, it was just a joke.”  _ What a nice comfort, asshole.  _ “Mike’s a fucking jerk, I’m sorry about what happened. Are you in your room? Can I come in?”

“No,” Levi answered loudly, finally. He shook his head as if Erwin was able to see it. At this point tears were streaming down his face, leaving stains and painting his cheeks red. 

Even if he was in his sacred place with his protections around him; even if there were runes carved in his door and sage burning that he had forgotten that morning, Levi felt more threatened and unsafe than when he was trampled in Paris. 

“Leave.” His voice wavered in a sob, singing melodies of sorrow and regret. He shouldn’t have agreed to go to that party with Erwin. 

“You don’t seem okay at all, I’m not leaving until you calm down.” His voice was closer now, he could feel his prominent presence coming from the other side of the door. Levi felt his weight leaning into it as he slid down the piece of weak material that separated them as well. 

“I said. Leave.” He punctuated his words more angrily, throat tightening. 

“Was it the amount of people crowding you?” Erwin pressed further, voice calm as if he was trying to transfer that calmness to the goth on the other side. The most frustrating thing about it all  was the fact that Levi couldn't find a drop of malice in his tone; couldn't seem to detect any trace of bad intent in his calming words.

When he didn't get a reply, he said again: “That was the stupidest thing ever, I'm super sorry. You have all the right to be upset. I'll have a talk with Mike tomorrow… They looked like a bunch of animals. What the fuck was he thinking—”

It was starting to get pitiful, truly. There was no way Erwin  _ didn't  _ know. It was practically in his face and yet he still couldn't reach it and do two plus two. Was he mocking him? “You're so clueless. I regret saying that you escape the dumb blondes equation. It’s been over a week and you still haven't connected the dots... Erwin, take a wild  _ guess  _ on why I was being chased.”

“A guess? Do they target you because of your clothes and style? I think they're pretty dope.”

Levi felt like laughing, so he did. Desperation manifested in bubbles that escaped his throat like a glass spilling over water. “Do you remember when you saw me at the library for the first time?” 

“Yes.” The answer was simple and clear.

“What was I doing?” 

“You were looking for a book. In fact, you didn't find it because you ran away from me... so you came back the next day to get it.” There was a small pause, Levi inhaled the smell of sage burning as he waited. “You threatened me with a knife.”

“You saw the cover of the book I wanted to read.” 

“Well, yeah—” Erwin had seen it. He didn't think much of it though. “I did. What about it? Was it a good read?” 

The lightness in his voice was becoming unnerving.

The stubbornness and obliviousness nearly made the witch's blood boil, Levi knew there was no way this wasn't on purpose. Silence followed for a long time, The witch's sniffles came to a halt as he accepted the fate that was before him. He'd be found eventually and his scholarship would be taken away, if he was lucky enough to not be killed on the spot. Maybe, if he did die he'd be reborn in his next life in a time where witches were accepted fully into society and not seen as some hunting prop; maybe he'd actually be valued. 

The sound of a small knocking on the door startled him a bit. He guessed Erwin hit his head on it with a sigh. “I am not that stupid. I just wanted to hear it coming from you because I couldn't bring myself to believe it.”

This was unreal. “You wanted to hear it from me?” In what world did Erwin live in? Certainly, it wasn't Levi's. 

Of course. He lived in the little bubble of privilege that came from rich parents, maybe even the fact that he was a full  _ human _ made life better. He didn't have to worry about rumors or poverty. He didn't have to worry about avoiding death because it was inevitable for him. But not for Levi.

It wasn't fair.

“I did. But it would be asking for too much, wouldn't it?” 

Levi's heart sped up once again; Erwin's voice seemed quiet and tired from the other side. “You have to be shitting me.”

“What's it like?”

The witch slid further down the door, now laying on the carpeted floor and staring at the ceiling in his thoughts. “What do you mean?”

“Having something extraordinary that you can be proud of.”

_ Extraordinary?  _ “I'm not proud of it.”

“Why?” The blond questioned. “I haven't seen anything yet, but I bet it's the coolest shit ever.”

“I'm not proud of being hunted and guilty of many horrible things.” Levi knew he was taught differently. “No matter how cool everyone else thinks it is.” He was taught to proud of his own blood; to be glad that he had the gift of outliving and experiencing. He loved what he did. 

He loved it and hated it. He loved messing with beings and stuff he shouldn't and being able to feel, see, touch and experience things that normal humans couldn't but he absolutely despised the terrible consequences and monstrosities that came as punishment for it. 

It wasn't fair. Witches were alive for this many years for a reason. They were created and brought to earth by Mother with intent. Exterminating them seemed to just be… Inhumane.  _ 'Sorry mom’ _ He thought bitterly,  _ 'but I really can't be you.'  _

If only he was brave like Kuchel. If only he had the guts to stand his ground when it came to this topic maybe he could be proud and fully enjoy everything that he did; even playing with death and standing at the teetering edge of it all could be fun if his race wasn't hunted as if they were ambulant rewards.

“You haven't done anything wrong,”  _ Oh man. _ “so I fail to see what you mean by that.”

The door opened with a soft click and as a result of being distracted Erwin fell a bit backwards before he caught himself on his hands. The blonde finally got a peek inside the other's room, and on the other side of the door Levi stood up. He was holding the knob with what seemed to be a strong grip, disheveled and sweaty hair clinging to his forehead. “I have.” He spoke simply, tone dangerous. 

“I don't believe it.” 

“You don't know me.” The door opened further, Levi glared down at him. From down where Erwin was, it almost looked scary. “You don't know what you're talking about.”

“We could get to know each other.”

Levi's face was unreadable — incredulous and confused beyond belief. It scrunched in what could be read as anger, pain and many other things that Levi couldn't describe. “You should be disgusted and reporting me by now. Remember? You saw me bind the door and stop the fight at the canteen. You caught the witch, for real. Don't you want your hundred bucks, even?”

Erwin stood up from where he was and now looked down on the other. The control and atmosphere shifted, Levi's stomach moved as if he was going down the death drop of a roller coaster. 

“Why do you think so little of me?” The blond began to slowly pushing his way in the room, making Levi back away every time he took a step forward on pure instinct. At some point Erwin was in the middle of it all, but his eyes didn't leave the witch's face. He stared intently into the witch's silver eyes, blurred by feelings and tears, desperation written across his entire face. “Why would I report you?”

With an audible gulp, “Because you're scared.” tumbled from the witch’s lips. For once he shot back, and for once Erwin took a step back. “Humans condone what they don't understand because they're  _ cowards.” _

“ _ I'm scared? _ ” That wasn't entirely true. Levi was the one crowded into another wall and not by choice, yet again. Erwin was close like in the part. The scent of Levi's room and Erwin's cologne mashed up together and danced around the shorter's nostrils. “It seems to be the other way around.” 

It was overwhelming. Erwin looked at him with even more intent and feeling. Levi began to feel nauseous.

“Get off me.” The command was simple. Erwin seemed to snap out of whatever he was wrapped in and his knee moved away from the slot between Levi's legs where it had accommodated itself in an act of trying to  _ intimidate _ the other.

The witch closed his eyes and gulped again.

The tallest backed up quickly to the door. “Sorry.” Levi slugged against the wall on the other side of the room and looked down to his hands. He could've used his magic to push him away. He could've done something horrible, but he didn't. Why was he glad for that? “God, Levi I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was doing. I didn't mean to get so aggressive, I—”

It felt disgusting. “Save it.” That seemed to shut him up. 

For once it was quiet. It was deafeningly quiet.

The tension that infiltrated their silence began to slowly loosen as both of them sighed tiredly. Tonight had taken it out of them — Levi was beginning to get unpleasantly sober and the sweat that clinged to his clothes and hair made him cringe beyond human control. 

On the other side of the room, Erwin's blue eyes scanned the room and took in every little detail. The beige wallpaper was a little ripped in some places, contrasting the cleanliness of the carpet that they walked on. The witch's bed was neatly made and shelves decorated the wall where his desk rested against. Levi had a couple of stuff laying around it: a big salt lamp, crystals. A small dish with remnants of sage and ash seemed to stared back at him. As he expected, even in his own comfort zone, Levi wasn't too showy about his secret. 

“Is that…"

“Sage.” Levi leaned down to take off his sneakers, leaving them in a corner. “Purifies the house of evil spirits, intruders and ghosts. Didn't seem to work well today.”

“Levi, I—”

“I just want to sleep, Erwin.” He rubbed at his face, shooting him a tired look that was the closest to what someone would look like before passing out. 

Defeated, exhausted and crashing into soberness, Erwin began to walk away but not before saying one last thing as he held onto the door. “I'm really so sorry about what happened today, Levi. I won't tell anyone about… any of this. Nobody thinks you're  _ really  _ a…  _ witch. _ Everyone was just too drunk off their minds. They still just think it’s your style.” Levi was somewhat glad for that. 

In a flash, as soon as he came he was gone. The main door of the apartment closed with a click; Erwin's footsteps down the stairs resonated through the hallway. 

Levi crashed into bed immediately after his phone beeped as well as his spare one did inside his nightstand. The first message from Hange glared at him amidst the whiteness of the screen:  _ ‘going back now, please leave the door open i didn't bring my keys’ _ , the second was from the girl he met at the party, Ymir, which read:  _ 'duuuuude wtf was that??? u okay?? call text me if u need anything”. _ On the other phone (a rather old and scraped on, outdated in technology) a message from a number he hadn't saved yet was showing up. 

He knew who it was though. _ 'Have another job for you, kiddo.’ _

He didn't reply to any.

  
  


The next morning crashed into Levi like a tsunami, leaving him like the washed over shore afterwards: trashed, ruined and probably emotionally damaged. His entire body felt like pure filth; his clothes were far too hot and he could feel the sweat clinging to himself uncomfortably. His head pounded and to be honest, he would love to go back to the small coma that is sleeping. 

His muscles hurt, and with a groan of annoyance he stood up and sat on the edge of his bed. The clock glared at him in big red numbers: it was 9 o'clock in a saturday morning. At least it was saturday and he could stay inside his dorm after a long hot shower and not move. Maybe he could even slowly dissolve into the couch.

Sizzling sounds came from the other side of the dorm and then a crash followed by a yell from Hange. They can't cook, apparently. 

After sending a text to Isabel said he'd stay at his door today and the following to Ymir:  _ 'i'm all good. kinda freaked out but i'm okay now, thanks’, _ Levi got up and grabbed a new set of clothes (comfortable ones, just dark sweatpants and a t-shirt) before walking out of his room. 

The living space was chaotic. 

The TV was on and some documentary about whales was playing while Hange wrestled with a frying pan and overcooked bacon. Empty cardboard boxes laid around, catching dust. Levi stared at his roommate with a raised eyebrow, clothes hanging from his forearm. “Hange?”

Slowly they turned to look at him, pausing their battle with the bacon. “Levi!” The pan was nearly dropped. “Good morning… I can explain. You Know the things they say about gays not being able to cook—”

The witch's free hand happened to find a way onto the bridge of his nose, pinching there for a second. “I'm too hungover for this. I'm going for a shower…” 

“Last night took it out of you, huh? I heard you had fun with my friend Erwin.” They kept talking. The intent in their tone held a dirty meaning behind the word 'fun’. Levi held onto the knob and stared at the door, wanting to throw up right then and there. “He's a good guy.”

The witch twisted it and began to walk in. “I guess he is.” Was murmured, not louder than a whisper.

The water droplets on his body ran smoothly and soothed him almost all that bothered him on his body as he scrubbed and cleaned himself down as much as he could. The only thing that the water couldn't wash away were his thoughts and headache.

Yesterday had positively been one of the worst messes he had gotten himself into since forever; it was so completely unexpected and yet, Levi couldn't find it in himself to be mad at Erwin. He couldn't find it in himself to feel betrayed for anything at all, like he should.

He never intended to tell him about the fact that he was a witch because it's simply not something realistic. There was too much at risk and Levi didn't know him anywhere near enough. 

But now that he did know… What was he going to do?

Erwin had made it very clear that he was going to keep it a secret. The only people who knew about it were his clients (which he kept under control, they knew they'd be dead if they took a single step out of line) and Isabel. levi’s lives have always been very detached from everything and everyone. Maybe… Maybe it was time to let someone else in his life.

He turned off the spring of water. He was thinking way too much and it was too early; his head hurt far too much for decision making.

After stepping out of the shower, drying his body and sticking a toothbrush in his mouth, Levi finally felt a bit more alive. He let his towel hang around his neck and slid his clothes on. Things began to fall in a bit more into place after he swallowed a couple of aspirins and joined Hange on the couch with a tub of ice cream. He cursed and took the piss out of wildlife for a nice couple of minutes before the effect of the aspirins wasn't working on him anymore. 

Hange looked a bit roughed up themselves with their head lolled back, legs spread out and saliva running down their cheeks; their neck looked two centimeters away from snapping. Levi nudged them in the ribs and that seemed to wake them up as they flinched greatly, moving forward with a shriek. Their glasses fell back on the bridge of their nose almost mathematically. 

“This is  _ bullshit _ .” Levi grunted loudly, kicking an empty moving box out of the top of the coffee table. It hit the wall and slid down it. 

Their roommate rubbed at their eyes tiredly. “Yesterday's party was fucking  _ wild… _ It really wrecked us both, huh?” 

“I just have a fucking headache.”

Hange placed their hands atop Levi's shoulders and slowly pushed him back into the shitty couch. “You need to relax.”

“I'm super fucking  _ relaxed. I'm the most relaxed I've ever been. I exhale relaxation.” _

“That's literally the most tense thing I've ever heard.”

Levi groaned again in defeat and sprawled himself out on the couch, letting his legs rest on top of Hange’s lap. Silence followed for a while as the witch exhaled slowly, trying to take the other’s advice and actually start to relax. Everything felt like too much; the sun coming from the windows was too much, his head was pounding too hard, Erwin was taking too much space inside his head.

His thoughts were like a hammer hitting a nail; resilient, loud, repetitive.. He should be mad. He should be absolutely fucking furious at Erwin for coming into his house unrequested, force him to talk about things he wasn't comfortable with and barge into his room rudely, but for some reason he isn't. 

He should be mad and the fact that he isn't is eating him away. 

“Say, Levi…” Hange's hands found their way to his legs, massaging the muscle there softly. He wanted to flinch away but was far too tired to, so he just bore with it. It wasn't so bad. “What's on your mind?”

“ _ The fuck? _ ”

“Okay, I know I've only known you for a week and you don't like talking about your feelings, but you seem heavily distressed,” They said quickly as if trying to redeem themselves. “and it's bothering me… What happened that made you so upset?”

Levi squinted and physically had to stop himself from pouting. He placed his forearm over his mouth. “I'm not upset.”

“You are, though.” They insisted. Levi began to feel a bit annoyed. “You just don't want to admit it.” the witch sighed. They were right, he didn't. “Listen… I saw Erwin going down the stairs when i was coming back to the dorm. He looked sad and really upset… When I walked in, you were asleep in your clothes so I figured something happened involving him.”

Silence tore the room in two. Levi’s eyes twitched gently; he really didn’t want to answer this.

“If something bad happened, I’ll beat him up.” They said with conviction, kind of breaking the intensity of the atmosphere. It was funny to imagine Erwin being beat up by Hange. “He’s a cool dude but doesn’t know his limits sometimes. You can confide in me… I’m great at keeping my friend’s secrets,”  _ Friends…  _ Levi stopped thinking for a while, pondering over the weight of the word. Hange thought they were friends… “and I would consider myself a nice warm shoulder to cry on. Even though… I don’t think you’ll cry? You probably won't. Regardless, just know that if you want to talk, I'm here.”

Would it feel good to get things off his chest? Would it even be worth the risk of it going horribly wrong? If he could feel lighter, or even taste the bittersweet release of death, maybe it would be worth all of it. It was troubling him to no end and it was getting too much.

At the moment, he was like a glass of water filled to the brim and threatening to spill; It felt like he was simply teetering over the edge of a cliff with no visible bottom — a nose dive was simply seconds away. He wanted the ground to open and swallow him whole when he told Hange everything that he had been keeping secret for the longest time.

It had been willingly. This had never happened before. His stomach twisted in on itself, throat clogging in knots of all shapes and sizes as his conscience began to hit him in the head as if a waterfall had unleashed above him. It soaked him to the bone with doubt, made him shiver as he waited for an answer.

“...I don’t know why, but I trust you, four-eyes. For fuck sake, say something! Don't just stare at me with that stupid face! I don't even know if you're listening to me right now. Fuck!” He yelled, shoving spoon after spoon of artificial vanilla flavors into his mouth. Hange simply stared at him with the widest eyes he's ever seen on them. Their mouth was hanging open and their hands had stopped moving up and down Levi's leg. 

The suspension was suffocating and simply fucking with the witch's anxiety, to summarize.

“You curse a lot when you're anxious.”

“ _ Well fuck me, Hange.  _ I just told the roommate that I've had for a week an ancient secret that could and probably will get me killed.  _ What the fuck am I supposed to do?" _

It was silent. Levi kept finding comfort in the cold ice cream melting inside his mouth. Hange's own mouth moved to finally speak.

“I honestly don't know how to feel about all of this.”

Levi's heart shrank a tiny bit and the spoon in his hands trembled, if you weren't paying close attention to it you'd probably miss it. “Do you feel disgusted by it?”

“No.”

“Scared?”

“Of you? No. Only when you yell.”

“Do you resent me for it?”

“No—”

“Sounds like you know exactly how to feel about the situation.” 

“Touché.”

A sigh tumbled from his thin lips as he placed the tub of ice cream down and began to sit up properly on the couch. His hands fell to his lap. “I don't expect you to understand. I wanted to tell you this because you asked about what happened with Erwin last night.” He took a deep breath in between sentences to ground himself. “You saw me at the Halloween party. It was really being nice and all until Erwin and I drank a couple of beers, and a certain fuck face decided it would be cool to pull a prank on me and make people chase me for being a 'witch’. They don't know about it, they just say that because of how I dress and it's cool to, you know, ridicule people for the way they are. It's the stupid fucking world we live in. I thought that would be obvious by now.”

Hange remained silent as levi explain everything, listening in closley and paying close attention to detail, it seemed like. After a while, they let out a breath and sprawled out their legs a little. “So what did Erwin do?”

“He saw me run from the scene and bind the front door. Then he ran after me to the dorm…” Levi made a small pause there. “Anyways, I locked myself in my room and we talked about it, fuck, whatever, if you could even call that talking. I opened the door and he forced his way in before I kicked him out of the apartment.”

“He forced his way into your room?” Their tone hinted at disbelief.

“I was the one who opened it in the first place. Things were getting stupid and emotional and shitty and I guess it got the best of him.” Levi brushed it off. It had been a big deal. After all, he had ended up cornered and with a knee between his legs, but Hange didn't need to know that. “I don't hate him for it.”

“But you are upset.”

“Very fucking _ observant. _ ” Hange hit his shoulder softly for that one, taking the edge off the situation. “I'm not mad at him. I'm mad at the situation and quite honestly don't know how to act now that he knows about everything. Whatever, really, it's not like I was going any fucking where with these shitty assignments for art and history pilling the fuck up.”

Their roommate rubbed at their back in circular motions. He shouldn't let people get so close but for once it feels nice. “Well, Mr I-ride-brooms-and-other-things-that-can-be-associated-to-wood, let it be known that my mouth is a tumb. I just have a simple demand.” 

“That is  _ absolute  _ bullshit but okay, w hat is the demand?”

A loud squeal pierced through his eardrum, “ _ Please let me see your stuff!” _


End file.
